Mission Improbable

Cue theme music: Dat da da da, dat da da da. Dat da da da, dat da da da. Dah-da-da. Dah-da-da. Dah-da-da. Dah-dumb!

The mission, should you care to follow it, was to fly from Phoenix to New Jersey, secure a suitable vehicle and transport all of RoadTrippers life possessions back to Phoenix. Tomorrow night at precisely nineteen-hundred hours (7PM, EST), Mr. T and I shall venture out on the most boring Road Trip mission yet. Expect no future verse or pictures on this languid journey.

Let me get you up to date: The intrepid Mr. T and I arrived separately in the leafy Garden State during the holiday weekend and have been preparing for the horrific mission. Mr. T's preparation pretty much consisted of swimming and sunning on the beaches of Ocean City, NJ to achieve a zen like state that will allow him to drive 42 straight hours. He should be well rested by now.

As the technician and navigator, my preparation has been more meticulous. Upon arrival I went through the obligatory 36 hours of decompression and the mandatory 36 hours of mapaandme time; I saved time by completing them concurrently.

The next task was to secure the vehicle. Last week, Mr. T landed a whale of a vehicle using his well honed EBay skills, and on Tuesday, I was sent to make the final acquisition. The EBay ad had indicated that the vehicle was a large white air conditioned van. I have code named the vehicle, "Large White Van". It would have been a longer code name, but the AC doesn't work.

My preparation sweatily continued with me single-handedly gorging Large White Van (LWV)with the complete contents of the storage facility I had established prior to the sale of my condo. LWV is now decked out with about a ton of my possessions and with my single twin bed well situated and easily accessible for trade-off sleep breaks. This should come in handy as we expect to travel the 2,500 miles in about 42 hours with at most one night in a hotel. A tedious mission, whose greatest difficulty will likely be not falling asleep at the wheel; alas, the whole journey will be on the major interstates...not a single national park or scenic byway is anticipated during the mission. Seriously, never attempt this yourself.

Should all go as planned, I will be moving into my new hometown of Phoenix first thing Monday morning. Should things not go as planned, first I'll be pissed, and second, it should make for a funny story some time in the future. I'm hoping for no funny stories.

This blog post self-destructed six paragraphs ago.