Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Better Than Nothing - Day 115

What made this day better than yesterday. Not much as far as what I saw or did or ate. Like yesterday it was another day of driving circuitously through Iowa corn fields and farms. I took another "scenic" byway, that doesn't compare to earlier drives. It did have two interesting bridges, but nothing special. I quite enjoyed lunch at the "New China Buffet", probably because I had such low expectations, that were only slightly exceeded.

But today was better than yesterday and it had more to do with attitude than atmosphere. Yesterday I was in the middle of a long cross-country trek, midway between the coasts, far from any home. Today I was one day away from Cincinatti, Skyline chili, youngAunt, cuzTina, family and friends, familiar faces and places. Yesterday, I spent the drive preoccupied with thinking: what happens when the trip ends, where will I live, how will I earn a living, and what happens after this mid-life crisis? Today, I took extra effort to think about the day's drive, the upcoming Cinci reunion, the family vacation in Cape May and my trip back to Hoboken to see 6pack and the crew. With so much time passing the miles, it is easy to get distracted and ponderous. But the more I do of that, the less I will enjoy the present, and that would be cutting the Summer of Scott a little short.

One of the things that really changed the day for me was that cuzTina suggested a diversion from our plans to leave Cinci on Friday morning. She offered a BBQ at her place and was inviting any relatives who could make it. I'm very psyched for a good old fashioned Murphy cookout, replete with relatives and complete with a cooler full of beer. Thanks cuzTina!

The last time I was at a full Cinci gathering we played some game with bean bags and slanted planks of wood...any chance that sport will be available?
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mark asked a good question in a comment yesterday...it was: "How many states have you visited in your life? Which states have you missed?"

Since I spent more than 20 minutes figuring out the answer, I figured I'd post it here also:

So far on this trip I have visited the following states:
NJ, PA, OH, WV, KY, IN, IL, MO, AR, TN, MS, LA, TX, NM, AZ, CO, UT, CA, NY, CT, NV, ID, WY, DE, OR, WA, MN, SD, MT, ND, NB, IA (32 States)

I know I have previously also been in these states: HI, VT, NH, MA, MD, VA, NC, SC, GA, FL, RI (11 States)

Leaving this as the list of states unvisited: KA, WI, ME, AK, OK, MI, AL (7 States)

Of those 7 states, I figure I might possibly get to KA, OK, and/or AL while this trip continues. That could leave just Wisconsin, Michigan, Maine (yes gWhen, I never made it to the Franco plaza) and Alaska (darn you Moira!).
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BTW, apparently they will farm anything here in Iowa:

Monday, July 30, 2007

Nothing - Day 114

I got nothing worth writing about today. There are days when I am staying over at a place for a couple days, and am just hanging out with friends or family, so I don't post. But today was a full fledged travel day, and there is absolutely nothing redemptive about it. It was a dud.

I travelled a bunch of the Loess (pronounced luss) Hill Scenic Drive in Iowa. While it wasn't an interstate, it wasn't any better. It was endless farms. I stopped in Omaha, NB at a Road Food recommendation, and while quaint, it certainly wasn't as good as Helmer's in Hoboken (it was German food). I get to check Nebraska off the list of states visited - perhaps my greatest achievement of the day. I then took another back road east (IA-34) and ended up in Chariton, IA.

I took only one picture today. I don't know what it is, but I was so surprised to see something other than a farm, I quickly grabbed the camera while passing. 400 miles, and not another single thing that made me want to grab the camera. Possibly a lot more corn tomorrow, feel free to call.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Week 16 Ends

End of Week 15. ( 10:30 AM, CST - 07/29/07)


After a late departure from Mobridge, SD, I have made my way to Mitchell, SD, home of the Corn Palace. (Thanks for the tip TreasonPal.) The Corn Palace was first created in 1892 as a way for the town to highlight how great the soil was here for farming. An eastern castle like building was decorated with a ton of corn. Every year since then, they have torn down the prior year's layer of corn and re-decorated it with fresh corn. Each year, they pick a theme for the design and this year it's "Rodeo".

When I was travelling with Battlestar, he had asked me what the weirdest thing I'd seen is. Well, this place now takes first place as weirdest, easily beating out the Antler's R Us store, and the Old Shoe Tree. Funny stuff, and it was surprising to see how many people had come to see it. There were hundreds. And they were eagerly buying the thousands of corn products and apparel in the huge gift shop. This is a town with a good sense of humor.

The ride today followed the Missouri River down to I90 along the Native American Scenic

Byway whose highlights included the Sitting Bull and Sacajawea monuments, and not much else. (BTW, I have seen a minimum of 5 spelling for Sakagawea) Pretty country. I particularly liked the sunflower farm.








Saturday, July 28, 2007

TR NP, ND SU- Day 112

I awoke this morning after a very comfortable night outdoors, thanks to the air mattress and a cool perfect night. On my stroll to the no-shower facilities, I was approached by a cute little bunny rabbit. On my return two more hopped into my path and awaited my next move. At the program last night, one camper asked whether the place was being taken over by rabbits. The ranger explained, "This happens every summer, the hares run rampant for a few months, and they'd mostly all be gone by August - squished. They're not very bright." I think it is something different. I think there is a new breed of suicidal bunny here in the badlands. It took all my best driving to prevent my first roadkill from being a bunny.

(When I think about what my first roadkill should be, I am hoping for a skunk, porcupine or pigeon.)

Perhaps suicide is prevalent among the Theodore Roosevelt National Park South Unit animals. As I rounded my first bend to enter the main loop, I had to come to a complete stop to avoid the enormous buffalo - er, bison. About 10 of them were crossing the road slowly, and I slipped through them, snapping a few shots and ready to hit the gas to outrun them if they charged. I'm told 30MPH is their charging speed.

From there it was more kicks and giggles with the prairie dogs. I think they are here simply for comic relief because most of the badlands are pretty harsh. But also alarmingly beautiful. I can see how it would draw in a man like Teddy Roosevelt. It was captivating to me, but not so much I would want to live here - I'm certainly no Rough Rider.

This morning bison were followed by great view, short hike, great view, stunning view, short hike, more stunning view, meet some people from ND on short hike, even more stunning view where I met the couple from Tuscon, stunning view, comedy with another prairie dog town, wild horses, and a final stunning view. I exited back with the bison, only they had grown to most of the herd with about 150 or so in view, and some close enough to hear them breath (and snort in anger). The ranger said they were "rutting" now, and this made them more active. I didn't get a definition of what rutting is, but I don't think it's what I first thought it meant.

And finally, I escaped North Dakota. I took a couple of scenic byways out of the state - the Sacajawea route and the American Indian route. Both pleasant drives that helped ease the badlands powerful aura.

Fortunately I did not Kevorkian any of the small cute suicidal bunnies. But they really tried hard...I give them credit for being so sincere about it.

Friday, July 27, 2007

TR NP, ND NU- Day 111

Ho-hum, just another night out under the stars. This time I am in the badlands of North Dakota at Theodore Roosevelt National Park (the NU in the title is for North Unit).

I'm situated next to the Little Missouri River that runs through these badlands and provides the plusher setting of grass and cottonwood trees. I didn't know there was going to be grass, so I came prepared with an air mattress.

Camping out is beginning to feel like home. Except, instead of TV, I have a ranger program in the amphitheatre at 9 PM. Tonight's topic is the geology of the badlands. It's like the Discovery channel, only live and in person and the only interruptions are for Q and A.

The park is divided into North and South Units that are separated by about 50 miles of national grassland. My camp is in the South Unit, but I spent the day touring the North.

The North Unit consisted of a 14 mile road out-and-back (so 28 miles total). It's the lesser visited of the two units, and I often felt I was the only one there. None more so than when I went on a mile and a half hike. The hike took me perpendicular off the main road and into badland canyons where I know I was the only human there. The steep striated cliffs surrounded and shrouded me. It's a very eerie feeling. Apparently it had a lot of formative value for Teddy.


Having only seen half of it, I'd say it is better than the actual Badlands NP because it has a bit more diversity in its formations as well as the plants and animals. The grass here helps the bison and a few other large, mostly non-threatening animals survive. And the place is littered with prairie dogs. They are hilarious, I could watch them for hours, barking as you approach, scurrying around nervously back into their holes, or perched back on their haunches having a look around. And they make a great audience...you move, and they perk up and watch you. Funny stuff.

Gotta go, my show's coming on now.

*** note: I tried to upload pictures, but the connection here in the park is minimal (lucky I have one at all). I will add pictures later ***

Thursday, July 26, 2007

A Long Montana Drive - Day 110

Slightly exhausted and spent, I checked into a cozy hotel and slept for 9 straight hours. It was the longest sleep to date while actually out on the road. It was also needed because if I had to do today's drive without it, I may have been taking a dirt nap along the way.

I called Mom today and said, "Hey, whatcha doing...I'm bored." She said that was the first time I had indicated that. True, but it wasn't that I was actually bored, it was that I was just filling the day.

I did over 500 miles on Montana's Route 2. Predominantly, I saw two sceneries. In the morning, I saw amber waves of grain; the afternoon was filled with cattle farms and greenery aplenty. About every hour, I would have a "city" where I would need to slow down to 35mph, and decide whether to stop at their one store. Fortunately, I had the Prius because seldom was gas available.

I stopped at most of the Historical Markers along the way, and for the most part they were entertaining. They would have a description of either a great indian battle or a Lewis and Clark crossing or a tale about bison or even a Butch and Sundance train robbery. There was even one just about a rock. I would have stopped at more interesting things, but along this route, alas, there were none. And for all these reasons, I highly recommend this as a pleasant, enjoyable, breezy drive...there's, literally, nothing to it.

Oh, I did run into a clan with NJ plates from the Atlantic City area. They're heading on a similar route, but they will be home in 5 days...I'm going a bit slower. They were nice briefly, but then headed off. I would have talked to others along the way, but there were none.

It's an inspiring Montana Big Sky tonight with a beautiful sunset. Tomorrow, yet another National Park. I suspect I will camp out and I suspect little cell coverage and no internet. Perhaps another bberry thumbing.

Sunset:




Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Glacier's Going-to-the-Sun Road - Day 109

Glacier Glacier Glacier...how to describe Glacier? I don't have a good answer. The problem is I was just at Yellowstone. And Glacier is no Yellowstone.

Admittedly, I have only scratched the surface of both parks. Yellowstone presented in such little time how immense and diverse it was, and I felt lured to see more. But Glacier National Park seemed to unveil itself in one great visual presentation. I'm sure there is a lot more, but I think I got enough of the good stuff.

I camped out last night and was among the last to go to sleep in my area. The stars were fantastic, but my view was limited by the tall cedar trees that surrounded my campsite. With my new travel pillow, I bedded down. Previously, my tent had sat upon grassy cushions. Last night, the tent site was on a pebble bed, and I now know that an air bed is needed for the next night out. I was among the first to awake.

By camping at the Eastern base of the park, I was able to jump right into the path I had chosen - the Going-to-the-Sun road. This was purported to be the most spectacular drive in the world. It wasn't...I've done better. But it was spectacular. With every mile, it presented dramatic views, weeping walls, long and short hikes, guided trails, and even a glimpse of the elusive longhorn sheep that Yellowstone had denied BS and I.

It took me 6 hours to negotiate the 60 miles of Going-to-the-Sun. I could have made it in 2 hours, but I could also have done it in 2 days. I took 3 trails, totalling about 4 miles of terrain. The uphill stretches continue to make me pant and whinny.

But Glacier was all about the views, and I stopped at many of the turnouts to ooh and aah.

After exiting the park, I headed east to little Shelby, MT. Here are a few of scenic Glacier sites as I head east toward North Dakota.





Seattle to Glacier National - Day 108

I typed up the below last night and am posting it now...I will be typing up the Glacier drive shortly, and adding a picture or two here also. - RT
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Killer drive today. Longest yet. Fortunately, even though a majority of it was on I90, WA then ID then MT we're all beautiful.

I sit here, again camping out, thumbing in the words to my blackberry. Dusk is fading into night and I hear the others at the campsite making final preparations before bedding down. I also hear a million crickets with their high pitched whines.

Soon I will see only shadows and stars and would rather keep hearing the nonthreatening crickets. I don't want to hear any grizzlies creeping by. I received about 5 pieces of literature with warnings and precautions about bears.. I think the rangers are trying to scare me, and it worked.

Scott Miller, his wife, and his one and three year old daughters are at the station across the "road". He's originally from MT and camps here every year. He now lives about an hour from Ashville, NC and says he only shops at Ingle's markets because they are the best. Scott invited me over, but they were cooking dinner an I didn't want to intrude. Rookie mistake. Next time I will gladly intrude.

Tomorrow I will be exploring Glacier National Park. I sleep tonight at the base of the "Going to the Sun" road, that boasts of itself as being the most spectacular drive in the world (multiple sources of my road literature).

Wow! Looks like it's going to be a stars night...I hope I can see the Milky Way or perhaps some satellites. Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs or bears bite.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Week 15 Ends

End of Week 15. ( 7:00 AM, PST - 07/22/07)


Here are some odometers:

Battlestar's when I arrived:

Battlestar's on Sunday morning:

We did another 500 on Sunday before arriving in Seattle, so the total for the BS leg was around 2,100 miles.

My odometer picture from last week...there are a few more miles, but I haven't gotten back to Pre in a while, so the total is not current.

What's next: Tomorrow morning, I will be dropping BS off at the Seattle airport, as he is flying back to take care of the remaining packing on their house before returning at weeks end. After that, I am driving home. I will be making the full trip from coast to coast - Seattle, WA to Cape May, NJ.
Right now, I only have one guaranteed stop along the way and that is in Cincinnati to have some Skyline Chili and pick up CuzTina, who will be joining the road show for a couple days. Otherwise, I am just going to be checking out whatever crosses my path. I'll probably camp a few more times, just to confirm that I really like it as well as to take advantage of some interesting locales.
Once in NJ, I will be joining my family for some beach time and a ton of sleep.

BS and more BS - Day 106

I've now ended 5 straight days with Battlestar (BS). We've seen the Badlands, Mount Rushmore, and Yellowstone together. We've seen a plethora of golden waves of grain and purple mountains majesty. We've seen rocky mountain highs and sunny skies that never seem to end. And I always know that I'll see BS one more time again.

Travelling with BS to his predestined hometown of Seattle has been awesome. It was an experience that we will both remember for the rest of our lives. Perhaps aided by this blog or despite of this blog, we were both on the same wavelength when it came to travelling. While we had the destination in sight, we didn't want to miss out on all that the journey itself had to offer. We lapped it up.

We went from MN to SD to WY to to MT to ID to WA. Both he and I travelled to 3 states each that we'd never been in before. For me it was ND, MN and MT. At the hot spots we stopped and took in all that we could. We cruised home to Seattle as efficiently as the adventures would permit.

Thanks Battlestar! I can't say it enough. Thanks. And I hope we get the chance to do something as awesome as this again.

BTW, if you haven't noticed, his valued additions to the trip can be found to the right of this entry in BS's corner.



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Battlestar's Corner:

DAY 6: It was 73 degrees outside, overcast, a few drops here and there today. And I have to say, “I love it.” I’m home and I’m officially a left-coaster. Yes, after about 3,400 miles of driving in the last week, we finally reached Seattle today and met up with my betrothed, B-girl (If she asks, let the record show that I’ve missed her tremendously this last week and hope to never spend that many days apart again for as long as we both shall live). The western part of Washington state is fantastic and every so often, I would point to a great view or a neat mountain town or a group of kayakers on a river and turn to RT and exclaim, “Do you know that this is only (insert # here less than 100) miles from where I live?” After arriving in Seattle, we took RT out for a nice sushi dinner in our new neighborhood and then after b-girl went to bed, RT and I headed out to the bar on the corner, Buckley’s. No doubt this will become my Ted ‘n Jo’s for the next couple of weeks until we move into our new home.

So…I’ve indulged myself enough in the above paragraph, for those of you still reading, here’s the entertaining part, the behind the scenes dirt that you’re all aching to know. These are my random thoughts of the week, stream of consciousness-like: RT and I are both too easy-going when we travel, but it works out perfectly and we are both very courteous with our bathroom habits; RT is a new person since he started this trip; I have not traveled in the Prius, but from what I’m told it is far better set up for a road trip than the Audi; water pressure in the shower is a key determining factor, if not THE determining factor, of how good a hotel is; if you have not traveled by car in the northwest, you have not experienced some of the best that this country has to offer; happiness is a few bottles of water, a few sodas, some beef or elk jerky, licorice, and some beers in the bottom of the cooler; Washington peaches are the juiciest I’ve ever had; have you seen the documentary on hotel bedspreads and how they don’t ever get washed…ick; I just actually typed the word “ick”; Lewis and Clark were some seriously messed up dudes—what took us a few hours probably took them a few weeks, then they hit the west coast and, guess what, they had to go BACK!!!; We named RT's GPS device Sacagawea after Lewis and Clark’s guide; Life is good; do you know that the guys that came up with that “Life is Good” saying made $80 million licensing fees last year?; You should all try to spend a few days with RT on his trip…or at least give him a call while he’s on the road.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Yellowstone - Days 104 - 105

Yellowstone National Park - WOW!!! Huge Wow. To quote myself, this is another "words can't do it justice, and you just have to go there" place. It's an immediate top 5 place for me, and the only question is whether it is number one. With just a half day's perspective, I think it is number one.

The thing that makes this the best place I have been has to do with the complexity and diversity of the enormous 2.2 million acre park. This is the worlds first national park. It was mostly formed when it erupted as a volcano 600K years ago. If it erupts again like it did then, it would likely wipe out the planet.

The volcano is active and you get to experience it through the geysers and hot springs that are prevalent, the most famous of which is, of course, Old Faithful. We entered through the East entrance and spent a couple of hours winding around the beautiful Yellowstone Lake. Pretty, but nothing amazing.

This was followed by a stop at West Thumb Geyser Basin where we strolled around a dozen or so sulfur pools. They were a softer, kinder version of the dramatic Bumpass Hell at Lassen, and their location bordering the lake made them much more appealing. Plus they only had half the rotten egg aroma, making them less threatening. Some looked inviting as swimming holes with crystal clear water, but they were really boiling cauldrons.

From there, we headed into the wilderness and started scanning the scenery to catch sight of any of the abundant wildlife hidden within. We saw none and just continued on to Old Faithful, with brief stops at the Cascades Waterfalls and a beautiful lily pond sporting the best wild flowers I have seen yet on the Road Trip. Old Faithful steamed and sputtered for a while, before erupting almost on schedule. It put on a truly impressive show for nearly 4 minutes. The huge crowd of perhaps 5,000 then dispersed to explore the rest of the park.

We resumed hunting for fauna through the flora and over the next seven hours we were generously rewarded. We spotted hawks overhead, and black ravens all over. We saw herds of female and baby elk, as well as one huge bull elk resting in a meadow by the side of the road with (I'd guess) 30 pounds of antlers balanced on his head. We saw buffalo and antelope, who prefer to be called by their proper names bison and pronghorn. A coyote led us down the road for a while, and we slammed on the breaks to let a wild turkey cross the road (we don't know why he did it). We watched as the rangers shooed a black bear away from their station and a stranger lent us his binoculars so that we could spy a grizzly bear and her three cubs lope across a hilly pasture. We were disappointed we didn't see a longhorn sheep or moose; I guess there must be some limit to my good fortune.

We continued stopping at some of the abundant scenic sights. We went to Inspiration Point to see the "Grand Canyon of Yellowstone" which really was a smaller representation of its namesake. Their were a handful more geysers that erupt less frequently than Old Faithful, but are still well worth dropping in on. We hiked down less than half a mile to perch over the Lower Falls and feel its power. All of these were beautiful and awesome, and again, you just have to be there to fully appreciate the majesty.

Toward the end of the day we were laughing at just how amazing the park was, and how it was revealing itself to us turn by turn. At one bend there would be a spacious pasture that leads up to the base of mountain. Around the next bend you would come across a crystal pond. The next bend would reveal a babbling river. This would immediately be followed by 500 foot canyon or crevice. It became almost unbelievable that all these and many more were hiding just around the corners, each unique and diverse and amazing and also holding the possibility of containing another of beautiful creatures that inhabit the park.

I had never been on a horse before, so after our night's stay just outside the park (see Battlestar's Corner), we slipped back into the park for an hour-long guided horseback ride (only $35). My horse, Snickers, casually strolled past the enormous bison about 20 yards away that rolled around in the dust for a while just to give us a show. It was just barely more than scratching the surface of the park, and proved that this place really needs to be camped at. Next time I drop in I'll be sure to bring the tent.

As we headed back across the Northern Range, we practically slowed to a crawl. Yellowstone, oh stunning Yellowstone, had so entranced us that we wanted to delay our exit as long as possible. At the final turn at Mammoth Falls, a small park town, we were ushered out by a final herd of elk that were lunching on the plush groomed grasses.

I'm exhausted as BS and I rest up in Missoula, Montana. (BTW, The Big Sky state is perhaps the most aesthetically beautiful state I have driven across.) Words just can't do Yellowstone justice...start planning your trip now. I'm sure I will return someday and make a fuller vacation out of it, perhaps in the spring or fall when the wildlife is even more abundant and the crowds less so.
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Battlestar's Corner:

DAY 4-5: Today RT is burned out after writing his description of our jaunt through Yellowstone (YS), so I'll fill in some details of the evening's events. Upon leaving the park at around 8PM, we were readying ourselves for a 2-hour push to Bozeman, MT. However, as we passed through Gardiner, MT, the town at the North Entrance of YS, we spotted a gleaming beacon in the form of a VACANCY sign at the Best Western. After securing the last room--RT's road luck continues--we unpacked the car and went into the room. We were shocked to find that our view out the window was of a rushing river below and the mountains of Yellowstone forming the backdrop. Finding this room allowed us to spend another half day in the park as described by RT. It also afforded us the chance to meet our new friend Phil. After a couple of great steaks at a nearby restaurant, we ran into Phil at the bar after dinner. He is a native Montanan who grew up training horses. In return for a couple of beers, Phil regaled us with his stories of Vietnam, his dental problems, a wonderful rhyme about the joys of burping which I wish I could remember, the proper way to order a steak (blue), and the joys of a well-worn cowboy hat. Truly one of the most colorful individuals that RT or I have met. We also hung out with a few of the restaurant staff, several of whom were from Bulgaria. Go figure.

TP has asked for a recap of my trip prior to meeting up with RT in Minneapolis. See the bottom of the BS Corner as I've updated it with the "Precap".

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Big Heads and Big Horn - Day 103

Up near dawn, Battlestar (BS) and I were in and out of the big headed Mount Rushmore National Monument by 10 AM. National Monuments are the lowest lying fruit; these seem to be mainly attractions to view, catch a bit of their significance, and move on. And in the 40 minutes we were at the Big Heads, that was all we did. It's a very pretty place, but it isn't worth driving across South Dakota for. But if you do make the drive across SD, stop in just to take away from the tedium.


From there, the day took a scenic turn. We entered Wyoming, and almost immediately the land started rolling, the roads started curving, and the landscape took on a new dynamic. We crossed all of WY today save for Yellowstone, which we are saving for tomorrow.

After a brief stop in Deadwood, we passed over the Big Horn Mountain via Route 14. This scenic byway quickly switches back and forth as you scale the eastern wall. You rise to an elevation of 8,000 feet in fast order before beginning about a 10 mile stretch across the tops of the mountains. About eight miles into the drive we pulled over to buy some buffalo and elk jerky that was chewy and excellent. We then kept our eyes peeled for any passing antelope or rams, but all we saw were sheep and cows. Hopefully Yellowstone provides a bit more threatening creatures for us to photograph and taunt.

During a short half mile stroll at the Visitor Center, we encountered a couple of families of curious prairie dogs. They'd slump back on their haunches and check us out for a couple seconds before scurrying back into their burrows. Funny characters.

Toward the bottom of the western slope toward the WY desert, BS and I were fortunate to pull over at a private drive that we mistook for a scenic overlook. We scaled down a small slope to reach the river that was cascading through a narrow crevice. We took a bunch of pretty pictures, but this is one of those places that can't be encompassed in pictures or words. You just had to be there to enjoy this private, tranquil beauty. A lucky find.
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Battlestar's Corner:
DAY 3: My corner is going to be tough to update as RT is generally very thorough in describing the day's events, but I'm going to try to bring you new aspects of the big trip that might otherwise stay behind the scenes. Here is today's contribution: As RT now has an ear to chew, I thought I'd bring you all the Top Ten travel phrases in increasing order of number of times used:
10. "Do you want me to drive now?"
9. "Would you take our picture?"
8. "Boy, is that person overweight."
7. "No, we're not Jake Gyllenhal and Heath Ledger."
6. "Uh, let's not put that in the blog."
5. "Is that an elk?...no, just a cow."
4. "Care for a beer?"
3. "What time is it? Wait, what time zone are we in?"
2. "There's a rest stop ahead, do you have to pee?"
1. "More darn cows!!!"
Thank you, thank you...I'll be here all week.